One can imagine poor Liz Truss riddled with nerves in Balmoral where she met The Queen, Her Majesty looked surprised but happy to find another new prime minister on her threshold. As The New York Times likes to remind us, our constitution is mysterious and irrational (American system much better: both candidates declare victory, then spend four years trying to put each other in prison).
“Other local traditions include warm beer and bad weather…” and waiting for Liz will return from Scotland, Conservative MPs instinctively took to the pub and look at the sky. Boris, they whispered, must have done the rain dance. From a glance of clouds, London was set bucket.
By evening, Downing Street was completely flooded with world media and best the place I could get was sandwiched between camera crane and leader of Cairo tonight.
I could just Oh Liz new podium. This did not bode well. Terrible modernist interpretation of the podium, deconstructed and warped, looked like it had been built by an evil goblin. The furniture was also starts to drip.
At 4:30 pm the sky opened up. The deputies ran for coating. We were afraid that the speech might be cancelled. As for what happened nextconspiracy theorists will say that Liz just told her driver keep walking around Trafalgar Square in nauseating circles until they stop, but I favor providence – for the downpour relieved her car was spotted crossing Westminster Bridge.
Taking advantage of hurrying to lower my umbrellas, I pushed and scratched my way forward until I could see clearly through the gap between two disconnected thighs and saw the Prime Minister take her place on the podium of Sauron. Finally, I was going to get a tax cut.
Or maybe not. It seems that if some reader was waiting for jam today, then they may have to wait until tomorrow – or two years after that. We face “Storm” said Truss menacingly, referring to Ukraine and the energy crisis, and it will be strong. But we will get through this because Britain is “stronger”.