The ‘Nobody’ hitmaker was stuck attempting to chase after this “image of perfection” however she now understands it was in fact a actually “oppressive”.
She stated: “I was building my life around this image of perfection, and it was really oppressive. I was clearly a woman who wanted to talk about truth and empowerment and strength, but when I really looked at myself, I realised that my whole life I’ve kind of been putting on a mask.”
The 39- year-old vocalist admits her daddy’s lack in her youth actually impacted her.
She added: “For me, a seed of worthlessness was planted in childhood. As well-intentioned as Craig was, and as much as he was dealing with in his own life, his absence impacted me in ways I’m still uncovering. It left a hole in me.”
And whilst Alicia felt she was attempting to “live up to all these fake ideals” as young star, she feels more of an “open book” now.
She informed People publication:: “I wasn’t fake, but I was trying to live up to all these fake ideals. It was like a habit. I had to start to break it … I feel more like an open book. That’s a beautiful thing.”
On The Other Hand, Alicia – who has kids Egypt, 9, and Genesis, 5, with hubby Swizz Beatz – formerly exposed motherhood altered her method of considering a female’s location in the world.
She stated: “You literally have a tiny being who could not even survive without you and something about that … I remember waking up to habits that I had. I tied a lot of my value to the amount of things I could get done in a day. I think that’s a very womanly thing to do, this idea of ‘how many people can I make happy?'”